Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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