Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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