you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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