I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
