come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
