Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
