dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
