What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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