You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
