One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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