S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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