ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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