Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
love makes seman taste better
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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