How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I can't put those talents on a resume
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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