I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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