Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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