my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
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it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
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I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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