It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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