i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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