Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
you made out with another girl for some wings
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize