I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
