Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
