you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
