No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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