I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
