Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
