I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
