Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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