he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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