It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
