she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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