all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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