omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if only i could text you this smell
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Randomize
