She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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