I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
