im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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