you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize