so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
