on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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