Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize