Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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