man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
