at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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