Kiss
Puke
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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