I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
