Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
