yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
