i already hear my dad disowning me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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