she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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