covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
