Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
