I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
