Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
