No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
