If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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