I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
