He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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