I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
